let’s see…

well, the show ended and not a moment too soon. no great prospects for a job to replace it

planted mom’s garden and my own, took mini vacations to the shore and lancaster and was starting the process of NOT being stressed

then of course this week everything turned upside down in my boyfriend’s family (who after nearly four years i’m pretty much thinking of as my family too) with the worst er visit being mom mom, whose cancer is winning. the two of us have spent the last several days at the house with pop pop, being the only people capable and available during the whole length of business hours–while everyone else has been taking turns visiting and shepharding mom mom through icu, to a normal bed, to hospice.   

everyone send a good thought her way–and while you’re at it, send one to my gramm, who either can’t recognize or won’t admit to her suffering from, and struggle with depression.

meanwhile, i will go on trying very hard to pay attention to the good things. we are seeing my nephew in a few weeks, to be with him on his first trip to the family cabin in the mountains. and i have finally found a company that makes swimwear with underwire so i can swim without feeling obscene. i enjoyed a few brief moments of intense satisfaction after giving a rose garden a thorough weeding this afternoon.

i refuse to give up on this blog, even though i clearly have no aptitude for posting anything even semi-regularly. which of course leaves me with no idea if anyone is even reading any more. leaving a lengthy comment on a friend’s blog on the current discussion of tears was perhaps inspiring considering current events–and at least keeps this whole idea somewhere in my brain for a while longer. thanks, sneaky, for being out there and for sharing.

when we came home, both bird (name of the day: cricket) and fred went ‘wooo’ and it is such a small comfort. they are over tired, adjusting to our strange schedule this week, as am i. so no more babble for tonight.