living on the surface

blogs don’t suffer from neglect. they don’t.

peacefully moving along, living on the surface. there were the weeks of getting back into the swing of things, then the weeks of 12 hour day after day after day, then the weeks of settling down. and now the weeks of simple and enjoyable work. it’s not perfect, of course, but near enough.

meanwhile, there’s been some excitement. that’s what my mother always calls bad news. my nephew wound up in the hospital for a while. he is home again and fine, and i’m through processing all the scary what ifs. in the meantime, we went up to visit for a few hours. in that time we read new books (mr brown can moo, can you?) colored (triangle dogs, square dogs, round dogs, all with spots and stripes) and introduced his new toy. after a few tries he was able to say and remember nautilus. no, brother, it is not a snail, though that was a good try. i also introduced the concept of monster-walking, a big hit. towards the end of the night, he gave me a big kiss and said ‘i love you.’ what a charmer!

it was pleasant to live on the surface for a while, but having been shocked back under i’m thinking a lot again. of what, i couldn’t say, but the thinking mood is back. along with some free time to (read! knit! sleep!) be a bit more social again. and try a new gym, as sadly, the beloved yoga studio couldn’t make it in this quasi-recession. there’s a muscle in my right butt that is very displeased. then there’s the hopeful end to the blog and haiku lapse. and perhaps finally taking care of the parts of the garden that couldn’t withstand winter. and i’ve still been meaning to learn to make cassoulet. and to organize a stitch and bitch. and to go to the aquarium in baltimore. and to finally get a new laptop. and to try wearing contacts again. and to take long cold walks holding hands and snuggle up on the couch with blankets and tea and my feet tucked under his legs. you know, live.

when pumpkins try to grow brains

that’s right. brains. made of lovely, fuzzy grey mold. eh, the randomly carved pumpkin lasted for less than a week, but it was pleasant to create and look at. i attempted to make sun-eyes, which worked out much better in my mind. there was pleasant company in the carving, lots of flying knives, toasty seeds and good conversations.

also. try to imagine the idea of an egg sized hole in a hip left by a defeated tumor. then rejoice with me that the hole was filled, and the hip gets to stay in. our aunt, that is, not me. i didn’t forget to mention any cancer. but she is doing well, and i feel relieved.

that’s all for now. i’m not up for a massive recap. i’ll cover more of the time lapse soon and try not to disappear again. i’m saying this to myself, you know.

the week in which things start to pile up

one of the great benefits of being in a relationship with someone (if you’re lucky) is having a second family. problem is, everything is his family is going wrong again. seems like the crisis mode has been passed hand to hand for the last couple of years… which makes every bit of bad news that much harder to take.

it seems we are best defined right now as grown up children–if that makes sense. which leaves my family (after several years of hard training) telling all the kids about everything and making us a part of discussions on how to take care of things when appropriate. his family, after only a couple years of training (and starting out very gently, after all i am an outsider) still waffles. we are sometimes kept in the loop and expected/able to help. sometimes, we find out about things when it’s too late to help, and mostly too late to worry.

today we got a call–to inform us of the loss of a cat. but it could have been any of three people. or with the way things are going, something else entirely. in the midst of fearing phone calls, i crave information. despite knowing that information won’t lead to anything i can do.

prepare to be whirled…

right. so new bird named salad. he’s lovely. another senegal–it wasn’t our fault, really, the rescue center called us up with a ‘free to a good home’ message, we met the bird, and… well, he’s home. extra-muscled legs with a freakish amount of feathers, a tendency to chew on anything near his beak, a charming upside down pose he strikes when put back into his cage before he was ready to be home, a not-so-charming shoulders up aggression pose when he’s too sleepy to come out, frequent clicking, and a great love of my mediocre singing. he was on a strict junkfood diet, which caused him some joint problems in his feet (resulting in a hilarious, yet sad, tiptoe effect when walking on flat surfaces) and which we are battling to overcome. so far, salad enjoys eating papaya, banana, cranberry, and dried root veggies.

speaking of veggies (which i was, you know…) the carrots have finally sprouted! ridiculous frilly tops, have the sturdy carrots. also, the first few eggplants are growing on the eggplant plant. (hee!) they are making very satisfying progress. the many green bean and zucchini seedlings have been transplanted, most of them survived. of course they reached the appropriate height and strength during the heat wave… so a few fried. but i still have more than enough. back yard is getting crowded.

we have been using the new grill a lot. so easy. so, so easy. and tasty. i could go on, but there’s no need.

what else… ah, yes. surprises. my very sly collection of siblings and cousins threw me a surprise brunch and matinee, on fathers’ day. yes, you see why i was surprised–a couple weeks before my actual expiration date (for those of you who haven’t seen logan’s run, i’m turning 30. and you should see it.) and on somebody else’s holiday. i was easy to fool, being generally agreeable about activities (they pitched a high end audio convention, which my brother and boyfriend would have loved had it been real, and i just said, sure, why not.) it was lovely. brunch place had choices for everyone (yay spinach and chickpea omelette) and the show was a really good try at absurdist theatre, which i like. if only they’d had a professional choreographer and an extra week of rehearsals… wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, which made it all the more special as a choice for me. also, i spent the day covered in feather boas and a pink sparkly tiara.

also was gifted some yarn that is “me” colored, out of which i am told to make stripey knee socks. i can’t complain about the idea, but i might complain once i get to turning the heel, when for some reason the pattern seems to be written in sanskrit.

on a side note, my yoga teacher often slips bits of yoga theory and sanskrit in during class, and i happen to like the sound of the language very much. still meaning to brush up (ahem: relearn) my french and pick up something new. particularly interested in sign language and pretty sounding non-romance varieties… maybe after i learn to play the piano, yet another large project on the list.

okay. enough for one update. i need to get myself to sleep. try now, might make it by 4, 4:30.

 

just a quickie

so…

fantastic visit with the boston crew. my nephew is ridiculously happy and learning so very quickly. i think my highlight of the weekend was the nose game. in which one either points to or touches a nose, any nose. i also now have my very own copy of the joy of cooking, and my life is a few percent more complete. also some replenishing of yarn (most of which was destroyed by mice… did i mention?) and spices (penzey’s, oh penzey’s) which is of course good for that soul-y thing.

coming up is a sister visit. finally. we are not managing to see tom stoppard speak because the darn tickets are sold out. we may manage to see the frida exhibit. and we will most certainly cook. and stay up too late talking until i have to tell her to drink some water to rid herself of the gravel throat.

also, yet more progress on the house. i have cleared the large closet, squirreled away (sensibly and neatly) all the extra linens, all the bags, scarves/hats etc, and our ‘fancy’ clothing. with room to spare. extremely tedious and icky but satisfying to be done with.

also, will be working a dance show in april. hmmm.

microscopic invasion

germs, naturally. they have staged epic snotty battle against myself, my boy and my brother, so our visit to the boston branch has been postponed. my nephew dutifully threw something on the ground and pronounced ‘boom! ground!’ (or rather, ‘gwoud!’) over the phone as a preview.  on the plus side, i speak a-la-turner for a few days. yes, kathleen and tina alternate in my cords.

also, we lost power to the whole house yesterday. warm water funneling into the fish and turtle tanks… birds huddled together under towels… and one chilly snake held close to my heart for hours and hours waiting for the electrician to arrive. who, as it turns out, was the guy who finally figured out the problem with our comcast service two years ago. we like him.

definitely sleep time. more updates after i quell the invaders. as a sneak peak–we have painted another room!

snaps

gingersnaps, that is. the project of the evening. and one of my favorite signs of fall.

most present thought today on the current show is that the costumes are gorgeous, lush, sassy, thoughtful, delightful in every way. even if it’s for just this reason, come see, come see.

i just watched steve (the very small and awfully friendly milk snake who lives down the hall with some other spritely neighbors) ingest quite a bit of sand with his dinner. mostly because he approached dinner left foot first, rather than head. i wonder–was he thinking, i wish i had hands to clean this sand off my mouth with (yes, snakes have a good understanding of dangling participles) or was he thinking, why do i live in sand? if the latter, i would tell him it is so that we can observe the lovely serpentine paths of travel.

hmmm. what else. oh yes! a confirmed sister visit is happening soon. a parental visit just passed (more on that later, there are some chatty thoughts to discuss from our tourist-y excursions.)

i’m beginning to alter my perspective in order to prepare for all of the 10am performances for this show. meaning, 2:18 feels soporific.  bed time for bonzo. (a saying of mine, the source of which i can’t remember…who is bonzo? not gonzo, not bozo…hmm.) in any case, i’m off. i won’t promise, but more babble is at least likely soon.

what do you do when startled awake?

i apparently talk in my sleep, giving every impression of having woken up. this is a family trait. one of my fondest memories of my father when i was a child was of him responding “how about grilled cheese?” when we pounced on the bed asking if he intended to make pancakes or waffles. my brother in his high school years used to flail his arms in a punch-like fashion–we’d have to wake him by tapping on a toe. my sister when young used to sleep walk; more than once we found her asleep in the bathtub. i used to sleep so heavily that i have continued slumbering after being tossed out of bed by a minor earthquake. this has changed. the other night (i am told) i told my boy as he was climbing into bed and preparing to snuggle me that his hands smelled like turtle food. whoops.

 but really my point of the question is a challenge: beat fred’s startled awake response. he had been napping on my collarbone (one of his favorite spots) while i watched an episode of csi (one of my favorite shows, especially when i’m trying to get tired.) when i put my hand on his back to wake him, he blinked, cocked his head left and said “woohoo!”

and then he yawned, glared at me a second, and went right back to sleep…

return to normalcy

well, we have buried mom mom (his, my gramm is still with us) and spent a long weekend in the mountains (to recover? to delay? to skip ahead?)  and now theoretically life returns to normal, or whatever passes for it in our little world.

some possibly exciting news on the job front that i (supersticiously) won’t talk about until i know more…

and, has anyone else been confounded by the weather again? it is so darn hot for mid-july. i got cooked just walking around the block to move the car this morning. my poor plants might need to get on the water twice a day schedule. i desperately want to plant the green bean and beet seeds i just got in the catskills (meows well?) but fear i will have to start them inside because they will fry as sprouts if things go the way they are going. 

ah. so this is how life goes back to normal… a thought creeps in (as they have been doing) and doesn’t get shoved aside until later.

let’s see…

well, the show ended and not a moment too soon. no great prospects for a job to replace it

planted mom’s garden and my own, took mini vacations to the shore and lancaster and was starting the process of NOT being stressed

then of course this week everything turned upside down in my boyfriend’s family (who after nearly four years i’m pretty much thinking of as my family too) with the worst er visit being mom mom, whose cancer is winning. the two of us have spent the last several days at the house with pop pop, being the only people capable and available during the whole length of business hours–while everyone else has been taking turns visiting and shepharding mom mom through icu, to a normal bed, to hospice.   

everyone send a good thought her way–and while you’re at it, send one to my gramm, who either can’t recognize or won’t admit to her suffering from, and struggle with depression.

meanwhile, i will go on trying very hard to pay attention to the good things. we are seeing my nephew in a few weeks, to be with him on his first trip to the family cabin in the mountains. and i have finally found a company that makes swimwear with underwire so i can swim without feeling obscene. i enjoyed a few brief moments of intense satisfaction after giving a rose garden a thorough weeding this afternoon.

i refuse to give up on this blog, even though i clearly have no aptitude for posting anything even semi-regularly. which of course leaves me with no idea if anyone is even reading any more. leaving a lengthy comment on a friend’s blog on the current discussion of tears was perhaps inspiring considering current events–and at least keeps this whole idea somewhere in my brain for a while longer. thanks, sneaky, for being out there and for sharing.

when we came home, both bird (name of the day: cricket) and fred went ‘wooo’ and it is such a small comfort. they are over tired, adjusting to our strange schedule this week, as am i. so no more babble for tonight.